Sometimes, just one slip-up at work can make me second-guess my entire career. Am I even qualified? Why was I hired in the first place? Any minute now my colleagues will realise I don’t belong.
You may know this type of self-doubt as “imposter syndrome,” and it usually has nothing to do with your actual skills, says Melissa Robinson-Brown, PhD, a licensed psychologist.
In fact, research shows that highly accomplished people tend to question their competency the most. That’s because imposter syndrome is about how you feel (not the reality of your abilities), Dr. Robinson-Brown explains: You might think that unless you were perfect, you could’ve done better, or that any success you have is simply luck – not a reflection of your hard work and talent.
While imposter syndrome isn’t an official diagnosis, constantly feeling inadequate can lead to serious mental health struggles, like anxiety and depression. Not to mention, it can trigger unhealthy habits, like negative self-talk, toxic comparisons, and overworking in an effort to “prove” your worth.
You don’t have to be stuck with these insecurities forever, though. Developing full-blown confidence takes time, but the expert tips below can make it easier to quiet the harsh voice in your head.
1. Fight your doubts with facts
Not feeling good enough, smart enough, or experienced enough are just that: Feelings. “They’re not facts,” says Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD, a clinical psychologist and the author of Perseverance: How Young People Turn Fear into Hope, which is why it’s more productive to consider any actual evidence you have about your work performance.
For instance, keep a running list of your biggest accomplishments (remember how you nailed last week’s presentation?) on your desk. Or dedicate a folder in your inbox to all the positive emails from your manager (like the one where they praised you for jumping on an assignment). “We tend to magnify the negatives and overlook our successes,” Dr. Rubenstein explains. So by challenging self-critical thoughts with hard facts about your achievements, it becomes easier to give yourself the credit you deserve.
2. Get a reality check from a trusted coworker or friend
When nagging doubts creep in, getting a fresh, outside perspective – one that isn’t tainted by your exaggerated, biased thoughts – can keep you grounded.
“Don’t dump your innermost insecurities on just anyone,” Dr. Rubenstein says—meaning, think twice before going to a boss who increases your anxiety or a colleague who just started last week. Instead, “confide in someone you’ve worked well with and trust on a personal level,” she says. You could say something like, “This past week has been so overwhelming. Have you felt that way too?” And if your coworker agrees (“Oh my God, I thought I was the only one!”), their similar experience might reassure you that you’re not the only one struggling.
Outside of the office, chatting with a close friend or family member can also pull you out of your head and remind you that you’re not a phony. Irrational beliefs tend to fester when they’re bottled up, Dr. Robinson-Brown explains: “So, lean on the people who you know will support you, listen without judgement, and affirm you the next time you’re feeling less-than.”
3. Remember who you’re comparing yourself to
Chances are, you’re not measuring yourself against a new intern who’s still learning the ropes. You’re probably trying to be like that impressive senior-level manager with more than a decade of experience under their belt, say, or someone else with a proven track record of success.
